Saturday 8 March 2014

You Might Be A Redneck Pagan If

You Might Be A Redneck Pagan If
(I'm freely from Georgia so my friends found this really fussy...)

You Authority be a Redneck Pagan If...

1. Your Assert Display consist of cuttoffs and a tube top...

2. You assume "Heredity Myths" is a dating disco...

3. You havereached 3rd benchmark, but not 3rd toll...

4. Your coven's secret names for the God and Holy being "Cooter" and "SweetCheeks"...

5. Your imperial Glass says "Budweiser" on it (2 pts if it says"Pabst")...

6. You perceive sound chewing tobacco a sacred herb...

7. Your circle shuffle includes the words "dosey-do"...

8. Your altar pentacle is a photo of John Wayne's star on the Hollywood Protest march of Distinction...

9. Your coven chose its High Nun at a belching go into battle...

10. Your coven chose its High Priestess at a wet T-shirt go into battle...

11. Your annointing oil says 5W30 on the pay in...

12. You hold tight ever refilled your chalice from a Tap...

13. Your outer circle has dead washing machines for borough altars...

14. You do your cakes and ale with a can of PBR and Exact Debbies...

15. Your Pantheon includes Yukon Jack, Jim Flicker and Jack Daniels...

16. You assume the Wiccan Rede is good for making topic furniture...

17. You swallow that the Pentagram is a Western Symposium sent to 5 inhabitants...

18. Your altar cloth says "Dew Shade Inn" or "Motel 6"...

19. Your Holy being picture say "Ruffle September" at the base...

20. Your God statue looks in the role of Elvis Presley...

21. You hold tight ever in print a spell on the back of a Denny's menu...

22. You hold tight ever cancelled a coven utter to taste WWF on TV...

23. You hold tight Customarily cast a love spell on pigs...

24. You name the God & Holy being by hollerin' "Hey, Y'all! Investigation me!"...

25. You've ever harvested ritual herbs with a dig over wacker...

26. Your Stick of Vigor is a keep prod...

27. Your Bard plays the banjo...

28. Your lovely fine art of the Holy being gives her hair in the role of Dolly Parton...

29. Your Vim and vigor Vanguard is a strand dog...

30. Your broom has four-wheel induce and KY tableware...

31. Your coven-stead is propped up on cinder blocks...

32. Your lovely Huge Rite husband is your cap, instantaneous AND third cousin...

33. You can expression "The Glowing Era" on the banjo...

34. Your lovely ritual libation is brewed in a plot while...

35. You sarcifice bbq and animal protein rinds on a altar ready of old oil drums...

36. You hold tight a joined Maypole Dance/Tractor Pull/Turkey Jolt for Beltane...

37. Warm up of your rite includes throwing shotgun ammo at home the fire...

38. Being your priestess says "Blessed Be" in circle, you resolution with "YEEE-HAW!"...

39. You develop arms at home the air some time ago the priestess says, "The circle is open but unremitting"...

40. Your high priestess' hair gets jammed in the limit fan...

41. Your utmost sacred altar items bestride, a '49 Ford hubcap, a velvet fine art of The Holy being infront of a Palm Tree, and a half-empty can of chaw...

42. Your altar cloth is a Assistant ordinary...

43. You maintain your ritual sword in your pickup's gun pause...

44. Your craft name starts with Bubba...

45. Your maiden sweeps the circle with a weedwacker...

46. You've ever ripe road-kill stew in your cauldron...

47. Your cauldron looks a lot in the role of a spitoon...

48. You bought your chalice at the Piggly Wiggly and haven't wide-ranging the Grape Maintain yet...

49. You've ever done a candle spell for your native land high-school football team...

50. Your neighbor thinks "the Huge Rite" has something to do with Jerry Falwell...

51. You've ever meditated to Hank Williams...

52. You withdrawal venison anxious out for Samhain...

53. Your circle shuffle is a two shove...

54. Your well-known can principled quail...

55. Your well-known keeps vermin out of the store...

56. The band on your altar was ever craggy by an animal in a area...

57. Your altar has a sprinkle cup...

58. Any part of your invokation of the South Sphere includes any line from any tune by LynardSkynard...

59. Your athame is by Bowie...

60. You haze Salem cigarettes for the former issue...

Wellspring for that reason you nation-state just be a Redneck Pagan!

Credit: wizard-notes.blogspot.com